Man Walks Into A Joke: The Ultimate Collection of Jokes and One-Liners
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Murder Jokes

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A little old man was escorted into the witness box. He was sworn in and asked by the lawyer to explain what happened. After a lengthy discussion of the events leading up to the incident he finally got around to the meat of the case: ‘And then she hit me with a maple leaf.’ ‘A maple leaf? Surely that couldn’t have caused you any serious injury,’ said the lawyer. ‘Are you kidding?’ exclaimed the old man. ‘It was the leaf from the centre of our dining room table.’
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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they’re going to be when you kill them.
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It’s better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
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Three may keep a secret, if you kill two of them.
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Man Walks Into A Joke: The Ultimate Collection of Jokes and One-Liners